I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
