I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
