forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
