Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I want a musical about memes.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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