I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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