absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
