it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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