Where is the hickey?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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