I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My liver just had a heart attack.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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