haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize