p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
