WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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