You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
