well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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