fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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