we're blogging at a bar
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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