I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
