WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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