new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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