ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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