tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Slut skills are useful in every country.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
