i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
