Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
