so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
