that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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