then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I am mentally ready for anal.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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