Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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