im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Can vaginas get frostbite?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
