I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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