Your dad touched me again.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
