I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Porn is love you can see.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
