So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
