If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
