I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
