Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
