i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
