THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
