Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
