I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize