I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
