too bad you live with your parents still
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
