This girl is more easily done than said...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
ok first of all what the fuck
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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