You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
