he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
