Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
