Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
