If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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