ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
