so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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