So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
