I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
