i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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