i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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