I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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