my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
