We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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