dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Randomize
