oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
it glows. i had to have it.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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