so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
