His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
