i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
