Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
