i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
