Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I would ride that face into the sunset
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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