Grow some girl-balls and come out already
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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