It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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