God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
