before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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