hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
accomplished twins. life is a go
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
