he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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