carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
